Sunday, March 1, 2015

A Snowday Ramble: Life Update


It's Saturday night and I am snuggled in bed, the outside covered in snow and little Pinecone asleep on the pillow next to me. The weather has been crazy here in TN; Jelly's school has been cancelled like 6 out of the last 10 school days, with 2 hour delays on the other days.  When I went to school here we had ONE SNOW DAY in the entire time I lived here. 7 years and only one snow day. It's been crazy! She is such a lucky girl; I would have loved to have more snow days!

My family went to Orlando over the weekend to visit the new Harry Potter park (which btw, #jealous. Harry Potter is my jam) but I was unable to go because of my back. I'm sure I don't have to tell you guys how sad that made me, not only because it would have been a fun trip, but also because it was family memories that I wasn't able to be a part of. An impromptu road trip down to Florida last minute? That never happens, and I couldn't go. 

In an effort to create my own memories and not sulk, my Aunt Betsy drove up from Birmingham, AL to stay with me, and got me absolutely hooked on the TV show Revenge. We were snowed in the house so there was nothing for us to do but watch TV in our PJs and gossip. We really did have the best time, and it felt like my childhood. When I was a little girl I would go and spend a few weeks with Betsy every summer, and it was seriously like that all over again, except with wine and Revenge instead of nail polish and Chuck E. Cheese. 

You know, if I'm being honest with you, back when I broke my back I really didn't realize just how bad it was going to be. I assumed I would be kinda down and healing through the holidays but still fully intended to go on tour with Alex on January 15th around Europe. In fact, I held out hope that I would be healed enough for the tour until about a week before it, when I realized... girl, there is just no way. There is NO. WAY. I mean, at the time I wasn't really able to get out of bed except for 10 mins every hour, and even then I was only supposed to like... walk to the kitchen. Or shower. Not tour Europe. 

I would never have believed it would have taken this long to heal but even now, 4 months of healing and 5 weeks of physical therapy later, I am only able to walk 25 mins on the treadmill before having to stop. The old runner in me is saying, "really?!" but I think that just shows how bad this thing has been. I'm sure you guys don't quite believe it, I don't quite believe it, but it is what it is. It's been hell.

This weekend Alex is coming to TN to help me move back to LA, which I think will be really good for me. I have been so homesick for LA and I think that being there will help me get back to normal. I'm a big believer in healing being just as much mental as physical, and I know I won't be back to normal until I am back in my own environment and home. For those of you waiting on me to get back to doing videos, I hope to start making them immediately after getting back to LA. 

That's all I really wanted to say, I just wanted to update you guys and basically say, yes, I am alive, but this has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I am still not back to normal. I can't wait until I am. 

<3

35 comments:

  1. I'm so proud of you, love!! I'm a nurse at an orthopaedic unit and I know how much hard work and dedication it takes for patients to get back 100%. It takes a lot mentally and physically. You're doing amazing though. Days are hard, but never give up! Can't wait to see you back in your element!<3

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  2. I bet you are sooo happy to be going back to LA soon! I can't imagine what you have been going through, but I can understand being homesick and missing my own home. It makes me so happy to hear that you are progressing though, and as weird as it seems I think about you a lot and am praying for your recovery daily! You have always been soooo nice to me on twitter and youtube and I only wish I could return the favor!

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  3. It's quite sad how much something that takes a matter of minutes to break can take so long to heal. The healing process is fine, but the things you miss out on that can be a bit of a nightmare!
    I hope you get well soon, and enjoy every moment you can while healing too! <3

    Also, I tagged you (ALL) to do 'The Bedtime Tag'. It's not as weird as it sounds, believe me! haha! All you have to do is answer the questions listed at the bottom of the post.
    LINK: http://www.berrybloomxo.com/2015/02/the-bedtime-tag-life.html
    Be sure to let me know when you've done it - I cannot wait to read your responses!
    xoxo,

    BerryBloomXO.com | Beauty & Lifestyle Blog 
    also on BLOGLOVIN 

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  4. You're such a strong person Elle! I'm sure being back in LA will make you feel better and it's just another step closer to being healed! Just take care of yourself first!

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  5. You are so strong, and it's really inspiring how you are so open about the struggles you're having. I can only imagine how hard it is to go through therapy and not be 100% after all this time, and I'm praying for you to get better soon!
    -Sisi
    Modern Beauty Girl
    Other Modern Girl

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  6. I love you, honey, take your time, we're always there if you need to talk, it will all work out, you'll see <3

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  7. I hope the move back to LA goes smoothly! I can only imagine how hard it is to not be yourself and for months at a time too! Best wishes!
    -Em
    http://emandlivs.blogspot.com/

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  8. your struggle right now is exactly that: a struggle. Im confident though when you're finally able to look back on it all youll realize how much stronger this experience made you. I know this won't solve your bad days but I hope you keep this thought in the back of your mind!

    Brittany

    northofbloom.com

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  9. Maybe you not realizing how bad it was was your way to deal with the accident & what happened. Everyone deals with things differently you know.

    I'm just so happy that it wasn't worse & that you WILL be able to recover & get back to normal! I mean, when you hear about people breaking their back it usually leads to them getting paralyzed & never being able to walk ever again. :( So I'm very happy that you will be able to get back to normal, even if it will take longer than you expected. ❤

    I'm glad you're moving back to LA, it's always nicer to be in your own home & especially when you're sick or dealing with something else. I hope that Alex & Blair will be there to take care of you!

    Don't worry about making new videos for god's sake! Just focus on recovering & getting better, that's what we all want you to do. ❤ Then when you're feeling a lot better, then you can start thinking of making videos again. Just don't feel stressed or like you have to make new videos because your true Ellevators totally understand why you're not making any new videos & we all just want you to get better. ❤ I'm sending many hugs & love from Sweden from me & my Persian cat! ❤

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  10. Glad your okay =] thank you for the update

    emyii90.blogspot.co.uk

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  11. Love you Elle! I wish you all the best for a smooth transition home, and I can't imagine how hard this much be! Glad you will be going home though, you must be happy!!

    XOX

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  13. Wishing you the BEST of luck in your move back to LA! I completely agree that healing is very mental, so I have a good feeling for you about your move back to California. Looking forward to hearing all of your updates along the way. Keep it up girl, you're doing great! :)

    xx, Lindsey
    http://www.thecurlydiaries.com

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  14. You know, I really appreciate your honesty and perseverance through all of this. It ISN'T fun to be sick or injured, either physically, mentally, or emotionally. There are good days, like when you feel almost yourself, but there are also bad, where you really don't know how you can stand another minute, another second. Today I was starting to feel sort of...a dread for the week ahead. But you know what? I have been wrong so many times about stuff, I now just try to think about it positively, or not at all (The latter, I have to admit, has been the predominant one for several weeks). And I certainly agree with you in that healing needs to come from all over, not just the original injury. I pray that you would feel the immense love of those around you and that not only your back would feel better, but that your spirit would be lifted. Sending hugs your way!

    ♥ Morrigan ♥

    P.S. I just wrote a review about your and Blair's book. Feel free to check it out, but no pressure
    (it's a good review, don't worry!)

    http://teatimewithmorrigan.blogspot.ca/2015/02/book-of-2015.html

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  15. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers

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  16. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers

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  17. Keeping you in my prayers for your complete healing and recovery. It is difficult but when you feel down just utter a prayer to God and He will grant you strength and make you feel a little lighter. You're doing great! God bless you!

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  18. I hope you'll feel better soon. I miss your videos.

    www.hintofglitter.com

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  19. I understand about homesickness. I'm staying with my sick dad only 2 hours away from my home, and it's only been a week and I feel sad because you're always more comfortable in your own space, even if you lived there as a child.

    Poor ElleBelle.

    I mean, we'll all be here when you feel well enough to come back full time again. But I, for one, have loved your posting here again...

    And at least you know how supportive Alex will be when you're broken! You'd have wanted to know if he wasn't, so you know you've picked a good one since he seems to be really supportive and caring through this whole debacle, so there's a blessing, right?

    Anyhow, I know you'll feel better in your Dollhouse. Godspeed!

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  20. Hope you get settled back in LA again and it seems like that would help quite a lot. I'm hoping you get to feel better soon and your back is healing so you can be your old self again.

    Jackie | fashionxfairytale | bloglovin' |

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  21. Elle, I really feel so bad for you. I would have been devastated if I missed a trip to Harry Potter world too. I'm also a HUGE fan. But I agree with you, you will feel more like yourself once you've got back to LA! However, I bet it's been nice to spend time at home, I'm sure you'll miss your family so much when you get back.

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  22. Elle, I can't imagine what you're going through. This is a horrible injury to have to deal with. Anyway, I just wanted to give you some positive encouragement since I've been a fan ever since your early days on youtube. You're one of my favorite you tubers, actually the one who got me hooked on youtube in general, and I dont want you to worry about not being able to post videos. I know that I will still be here whenever you can, so dont rush it. Focus on feeling better first and foremost. You're beautiful and I hope you have a great day! <3

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  23. You are so strong, Elle! I can't believe it's been 4 months already..I'm glad you're getting better. =) Please take it easy when you get back to LA. I'm so excited for you to be making videos again!

    Mandy | www.mandydreams.com

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  24. I'm so glad you are feeling better, I've missed your videos and blogs so so much! get well, be patient and be happy :)

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  25. Hang in there, Elle! I am so sorry that it has taken you so long to recovery but know that your fans love you and wish you the best. You are truly wonderful, Elle, and even though you aren't making videos right now, I still look forward to your blog posts. It will get better!! :)

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  26. Aww Elle I really feel bad for you! You are so energetic and you remind me so much of me that I can only imagine what you must be going through. Good thing you have us to cheer you up! Can't wait to keep watching your videos. I started watching them on 2010 and I haven't stopped ever since!

    A big hug from Puerto Rico! Xo Elena from www.ambinityblog.c

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  27. You poor thing. I will continue to pray for your recovery. You are so strong! Stronger than you even know! BIG HUGS!! Oh and don't push yourself too hard with making videos. You have your whole life to make videos, and you need your back for that life. xoxo

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  28. Wishing you only the best with your recovery! Things will get better soon. You can travel and enjoy Europe sometime in the future. For now, you need to focus on making your back strong.

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  29. Good luck with your move back to LA! Wishing you the best!

    Connie | Sponsored by Coffee | Bloglovin’

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  30. Hope you get to feeling better soon.<3 and when u do get back to making videos i hope you still blog because i love them so much.!:)

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  31. Hope you get to feeling better soon.<3 and when u do get back to making videos i hope you still blog because i love them so much.!:)

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  32. Elle you should be so proud of yourself. Little by little. Take it day by day. Remember that all things can be healed with TIME, whether it be a broken car, a broken heart, or a broken back! You will look back on this and see how much stronger it made you. I miss your videos but all of your fans myself included want you to heal and not rush to make videos. Your health is #1. Hope you liked the nail polish I sent you!! Take your time ;) Good luck with the move back! Sending you hugs and get well wishes!!! Xo

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  34. First time in your blog and I’m impressed! Everything is so beautiful! I think that you do a great job! I know that blog requires much time, but keep doing it!

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  35. Revenge is one of my favourite shows. Stick at it, it gets sooo good! Hope you're feeling better now you're home. Jac xx

    Https://the-prettylittlethings.blogspot.com

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